The increasingly busy and dangerous A82 where I have had so many near misses. The unpredictable and frankly awful weather, and dark winter days also pose a challenge. Over tourism is incresingly apparent. With that comes the outrageous price of eating out. More akin to central Edinburgh prices during the festival. If your vegetarian which mostly I am, it just seems that local chefs dont know that you can actually create nice meals that don't include dead things of meat, fowl or fish. You can surely do better than Macaroni Cheese, Gnochi or a Haloumi and Feta salad at £22 a pop.
There are the mountains that still take my breath away, figuratively and litteraly. Spell binding sunsets that set the sky aflame, a river, crystal clear, which maybe a silver Salmon might still be seen. And the deer that allow us into their realm. In return, the deer get a more colourful vegetarian diet from our gardens, more so than most of the local resturantes can provide. I love the deer. They enhance our lives. Persecuted on the alter of carbon capture credits and trees, cruel and outrageous culling more akin to extermination is their lot. So they can have my flowers.
There is the pull of Fiona and the life lived here. Grief is frightening, and lonley. I was lucky to meet a lovely person to share life with for a bit, who almost got me past it, but didn't judging by the roar of the waves of loss and their frequency again. I know the ocean will settle in time, despite the tsunami. Everything passes, eventually.
Most especially if I upsticks I would miss the good friends and exceptional neighbours who are thoughtful and kind. This is still a village with polite well brought up children where getting up the woods with a shovel to make a bike jump obviates the desire for wheelie bin fires and other city like distractions. But, there is also the pull of a city that has captured my heart, Edinburgh. Things to do, lectures, art, good beer and stunning midlothian walks. A buzz of culture to dip in and out off. Friends there also. And importantly, a selction of climbing venues inside and out, and the social scene that goes with that. I have tasted all of that from the city in the last three years and its a heady addictive mixture when you come from a quiet village. But we are hefted to this land. The leaving of it perhaps too late for me.
I am stranded on a stepping stone in the middle of a river. Its a short hop to the near bank and a leap to the far one, and new territory. I will stand here a bit longer before taking any big jump. There will be an unburnt bridge back if required, as at both ends it will be short term letting as an experiment. Am I up for giving it a go to see?
I think ..................
